10 Things To Say/Do When Someone Offers You A Drink

1. Smack it out of their hand and scream, "Are you trying to kill me?!"

2. Put on a white glove, take the wine by the stem, turn the glass upside down, turn it right side up, hand it back, take off the white glove and walk away.

3. Spit in it and tell them "I don't want this anymore it has spit in it."

4. Smack it out of their hand and scream, "I'm an alcoholic you idiot!"

5. Run away.

6. Simply tell them you are a proud alcoholic and that you stand by your choice not to have a drink. Go off on a rant of all the ways your life has changed for the good since you stopped drinking. Ask if they think they might have a problem. Tell them if they need help you'll be available to talk and that they should get a higher power immediately. They will never offer you a drink again.

7. Make sheep sounds every time they try to hand it to you. "Baaaaahhhhh, baaaaahhhhhhh."

8. Sneeze and then say, "I'm actually allergic to alcohol."

9. Smack it out of their hand and scream, "I choose life! I choose freedom! I choose abstinence!"

10. Simply say, "No thank you, I'm good."