1. Don't do drugs.
2. Here's some drugs.
3. Maybe if you just cut back.
4. Why don't you just switch to booze/weed?
5. You don't have a problem, you just think you have a problem.
6. If you could just drink like a normal person none of this would be happening.
7. Drinks on me!
8. Drugs on me!
9. Alcoholics are just quitters.
10. I'm Jesus, I've just returned to change this water to wine. You down?